The Lost Goodbye
One of the things that I know we will have to deal with when we come out of the pandemic are the goodbyes that we never had the chance to say. You see it is very healthy for someone to say goodbye. In fact, saying goodbye is a way for us to be able to grow and develop our lives to be stronger and healthier. A child development specialist Margaret Mahler who coined the term, “separation individuation” shares how separation or saying goodbye enables children to develop their individual identity. But what happens when you never get a chance to say, goodbye?
We have had co-workers lose jobs because of the economy during the pandemic and because we were all socially distant we will never get a chance to say goodbye.
We have students that are leaving schools and heading off to other places but because schools were shut down many of them were never able to say goodbye to other school mates.
We have church members that because of all of the above have had to move and the people that they knew in a community have not been able to say goodbye because they left when things were shut down.
We have had families that have had people pass away and because funerals were twenty five people or less they never had the chance to grieve and say goodbye in that moment.
One of the things that I know is that not being able to say goodbye can complicate your grieving process as you may experience more emotions such as guilt and regret that coincide with the loss of of being able to say goodbye a moment that brings possible closure in many moments.
That means many people will have to be able to deal with these emotions. But how are we to do this?
- Write letters to the people after you have found out where they have gone. If it is someone who has passed away then write the letter put it in an envelope and place it somewhere special. I knew of a man that took a letter he wrote to his father who had passed away and placed it in a tree in the mountains where they went fishing together.
- Maybe you can find them on social media and along with other people that had relationships with them let them know how much you miss them. Encourage others to do the same.
- Take some time to write a list of all the reasons that you enjoyed having them in your life. Then take that list and share it with them some way.
- Pray for them and ask God to be able guide and direct them wherever they may be. If this is someone that has passed away then I would encourage you to pray that God would enable you to see all of the ways that you were blessed by this person and then pray prayers of thankfulness through this list to God for all of the ways this person was a part of your life.
Whatever you need to do to walk through those emotions and experience some closure is important for your heart and for your spirit. But my hope is that we will all be able to experience healing after the hurt. So, I want to be able to say, “Goodbye for NOW.”
If you feel comfortable share either a goodbye that you weren’t able to have with someone, or a way that you see that can help if someone is unable to say goodbye.
The Funeral for No ONE
Several months ago, I was asked to perform a funeral service at a local funeral home that I work with consistently. They invite me to do services for people that are not a part of a faith community and want a pastor to perform the service. To me, it is a loving opportunity to be involved in the lives of people that are dealing with loss and pain.
But when the funeral director asked me to perform the service, he let me know that there would not be anyone attending the service. I was shocked. I had to ask him if he meant that it would only be family and that no one else would be there. To which he responded by saying that no one, not even family would be there for the service. The individual served in the Air Force and there was going to be military honors and the presentation of a flag but the flag was going to be given to the funeral director. I have been involved in quite a few funeral services where there were only a few people there but never a service where NO ONE was there. I have to be honest it was very upsetting and I was not sure what to do with this at all.
That meant I needed to think and pray. After a day or two, I really felt like this was an opportunity for our community of faith to respond. I invited people through a video on our Facebook page to come and join me at the service for a man who at the end of his life was going to have no one show up. Then I forged ahead preparing the service for the man that had no one coming to his funeral service.
My amazing wife made sure that she was going to be there with me for the service. We got to the funeral home about thirty minutes before the service to make sure we had everything planned with the honor guard and the funeral director. Then at about fifteen minutes before the service was to start people from Elevation started to join us at the funeral home for the service for a man that had no one coming. By the time we started the service, there were twenty-five people sitting quietly in the chapel and not one of those people knew the man that the service was for.
The honor guard did an amazing job and presented the flag for this serviceman to my wife. As I sat there and looked at her from the front of the chapel, I saw tears begin to run down her face. She later told me that she was overwhelmed at the thought that this serviceman who had served our country and was someone’s son had no one show up for his funeral. I also was overwhelmed by emotion and had a difficult time presenting the service but my emotion came from seeing the people of Elevation come to a funeral service for a man that none of them knew.
For me, it was an amazing picture of the love of Jesus being shared through the sacrifice of the people of Elevation to show up at a funeral for someone that no one else was going to show up. Here is my question to you, who is going to show up at your funeral and why are they going to be there? I have no idea who this man was and I have no idea why there was no one there. But I do believe it is a moment that can help us see how we are living our lives and how we treat people and how we can be the ones that care for the people around us.
I do want to share my appreciation for the people of Elevation that came to that funeral and for being a community of faith that cares at all times.
Decide to be Disciplined (Part Three)
At the beginning of this year I made the decision to be disciplined when it comes to the important areas of my life. I made the decision to be disciplined when it comes to my health, my life with Jesus, my wife, my leadership and my writing. (at least this writing) I had come to the realization that over the last couple of years that I had allowed stress, laziness, and other people’s priorities to take over how I was living life. It is amazing how easy this can happen, especially when you have not decided to be disciplined with your life.
So when it comes to my wife I have set the goal to make sure that we go on at least 3 dates a month. I have also placed on my phone an app that I think that many people would find useful. (tell you soon) When it comes to going on dates with my wife I want to do things that are going to fulfill her love language and make her feel that I have planned something special just for her. Now if you don’t know your spouses love language then you need to either get the book, “The Five Love Languages” by Gary Chapman and read it or you can listen to it on audiobook. Once you know the love language of your spouse you need to then download to your phone The Five Love Languages App. Why would you do that if you have the book? Because it has a challenge and it has ideas of how to date your mate. That’s right they give you ideas for dates and ways to talk with your spouse in their love language. I don’t know about you but to me that is a WIN!
So I have decided to make my wife and her love language a priority I have decided to be disciplined about speaking and living in her love language. Do you know your spouses love language? Have you read the book? What can you do to speak in your spouses love language?
Decide to be Disciplined (Part Two)
At the beginning of this year I made the decision to be disciplined when it comes to the important areas of my life. I made the decision to be disciplined when it comes to my health, my life with Jesus, my wife, my leadership and my writing. (at least this writing) I had come to the realization that over the last couple of years that I had allowed stress, laziness, and other people’s priorities to take over how I was living life. It is amazing how easy this can happen, especially when you have not decided to be disciplined with your life.
So when it comes to the area of my life with Jesus I have decided to make journaling, prayer, and reading disciplined. The goal that I have set is to make sure that I do this at least 5 times a week. My health and my ability to grow in my relationship with Jesus have been connected for me when it comes to being disciplined. Once I have completed my workout in the morning I immediately get out my journal and my bible with a cup of coffee (we call it Christian Crack) then take a seat at the dinner table at my house. Sometime it is alone, but most of the time it is with people walking around me. So I will either put in my ear buds or just gently remind people at what I am trying to do. Maybe for you having your time with Jesus needs to be ultimate quiet I get that, but the more that you can show and share what you are doing is a good thing. (set the pace for the family)
What I then do is write about the previous day and how I was able to see God at work in me and around me. After that I write out my prayers. I know that for some people that this would be really strange, but for me it keeps me focused (I also like to go back and read them to see how God is at work). I make it at least two pages in my journal, why I don’t know I just liked it. Then I take the next page and write out things that jump out at me while I am reading the bible. Many of those things I read that day I then write out so that I can read them over and over through out the day. This is the way that I do it, it is a way not the way. Maybe for you reading off your phone is good for you. Maybe for you journalling online is good for you. Maybe for you praying away for minutes maybe hours is good for you. No matter what way you do it you need to make the decision to be disciplined.
What are the ways that you can make your life with Jesus lived out? What are the ways that you are making this time with Jesus a discipline?
Decide to be Disciplined
At the beginning of this year I made the decision to be disciplined when it comes to the important areas of my life. I made the decision to be disciplined when it comes to my health, my life with Jesus, my wife, my leadership and my writing. (at least this writing) I had come to the realization that over the last couple of years that I had allowed stress, laziness, and other people’s priorities to take over how I was living life. It is amazing how easy this can happen, especially when you have not decided to be disciplined with your life.
So when it comes to my health I have decided to get up every morning and work out. In fact the goal that I have set is to workout at least 4 days a week. I had my son who is a personal trainer (you can hire him fright here on twitter @tjbloyer32) design a workout for me that helps me lose weight and gives me energy. Through this I have realized that when it comes to being a follower of Jesus that when my health gives that my ability to serve Jesus better and stronger. I also understand that when it comes to my health that it is a place that I can worship God.
1 Corinthians 6:19–20 (NLT) 19 Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, 20 for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body.
So I have decided to honor God with my body and be disciplined to work out and eat healthy. Being disciplined is a decision and today you to can make the decision to live a disciplined life. It’s not going to be easy and there are going to be those moments where you are going to want to fall back into old habits, (sleep in that’s me) but you have made a decision to be disciplined so work hard.
What are the areas of your life that you need to make a priority and decide to be disciplined in today? What are you going to do to make things change?
Crossroads at Kiowa,CO
Ever have one of those weeks when you are just not sure about where you are going or what you are doing? Am I the only one who has ever felt this way? Well a week ago I just felt overwhelmed and unsure of what I needed to do next. So I got up and worked out, finished reading a book on leadership, and then I went for a ride. I didn’t know where I was going I just pointed the bike east and rode.
I was riding east on E. Qunicy Rd and I went until I ran out of pavement. Then I took a right and just went south not knowing where I was going to end up. It was a perfect day, there was a cool breeze the sun wasn’t to hot and I was able to just soak in the rolling view. For me this was an amazing time where I was truly seeking God and having a great conversation with him as I rode along. I was really seeking to know and hear what God wanted for me at this time in my life. What I didn’t know was that I was on the Kiowa Bennett Road and I was about to be smack dab in the middle of Kiowa population 723 as of the last census. Now I am not proud to say this but as a Colorado Native I didn’t have a clue about Kiowa. When I entered into the town there was not a city sign in site, so literally I had no clue where I was.
So I pulled into the first gas station I could find. My legs were a little stiff from the being on the bike for awhile and I needed to take care of some business and it was exactly what you think. So I struggled into the Sinclair Gas station to find out where I was and to go to the bathroom. As I entered I was greeted by Nasime the man that was running the station. I asked him where was I? “To which he responded well sir you are here.” I said, “I know that but what town is this?” To which he responded, “You are in Kiowa and Jesus will always help you.” I said, “Great thanks!” as I stepped into the bathroom. But my mind was still processing what he had said to me. So when I was done I stepped out and asked him what he had just said to me. With a big smile, Nasime said again; “Jesus will help you all you have to remember is to trust Jesus.”
Now I was so taken back to what he had said that I thanked him handed him my card and walked out the front door with my mouth wide open. I had been praying that God would let me know what I needed to do and from the mouth of Nasime it came. TRUST JESUS! Don’t do anything, don’t go anywhere, don’t try to figure it out, just TRUST JESUS.
Maybe this week you need to hear this, TRUST JESUS. I don’t know what you are going through I don’t know what you are struggling with, I don’t know what burden you are carrying. But I want to encourage you to TRUST JESUS.
Proverbs 3:5–6 (NLT) 5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding.6 Seek his will in all you do,and he will show you which path to take.
What do you need to trust him with today?
Eddie Hall Deadlift!
So this last week strongman Eddie Hall completed a one rep of deadlift of 1102.31 lbs. and then as soon as he put the weight down collapsed. In fact if you want to watch the video of him completing this life just click here and watch. This is a guy that all he does is train and train and train for this event and when he completed the lift it totally drained him. Why is that so many of us think that we can work harder and harder with out thinking we will fall?
So here are a few things that we each should think about when it comes to avoiding the big let down after the big lift:
- Make sure you know your own ability. To many people think that they can handle more and more when it comes to their lives. But ultimately it is really way more then they can handle and because it is more than they can handle they collapse under the weight. They collapse in their marriage, with their finances, with their friends, and maybe they collapse physically.
- Make sure that you take time to rest. After Eddie made this lift he ended up having nosebleeds and passed out. His body let him know that it was time to rest. Some people are being told by their bodies through stress, anxiety, chest pains, and other symptoms that it is time to rest. So what do you do to rest? I like to ride my motorcycle because you can’t answer emails, you can’t except phone calls, and you just go. I take naps on Sunday afternoons, after a long Sunday morning.
- Make sure you take time to recover. This is different then rest. Rest should be something that you do on a regular basis, when it comes to recovery this should be through out the year. Here I will put it this way, VACATION. That’s right you need to take a vacation that is all about recovery, do nothing, lounge away, without any schedule. If you don’t take the recovery time through out your life the rest will just help you limp along and not function at your best.
These are just three simple things that if you are wanting to be able to life the big weight in life to do. One of the other things that I know is helpful when it comes to maintaining the ability to lift big and well in life is being a part of a church community. There you will find other people that can become your lifting partner in life. You can’t lift big weight all by yourself it will just crush you eventually. For more information about Elevation just click here.
Carrying to much?
So yesterday as I was heading to the airport with my wife and daughter to fly out to an event that I was going to speak at something caught my eye. We were sitting at an intersection that we always go through about three to four times a day and there was a man on the corner with a refrigerator. That’s right a refrigerator all by himself on a dolly. Then as we pulled up the light changed and he painstakingly hauled the refrigerator across the street to the other side, but when he got to the corner it got stuck. So he worked and worked the refrigerator up on the corner as all of the cars in the turn lane waited and honked. Then once he got it up on the corner sidewalk he paused caught his breath and then hauled the refrigerator down the street to some unknown destination.
As I watched this happen I was thinking first, how I could get out and help this guy with out getting run over and with out being late for my flight. Then the second thing that came to mind was why is there no one to help this guy to move this refrigerator? Why is he carrying so much of a load all on his own? I thought that it was really interesting to see this since this last weekend at Elevation we talked about the need and call for community. We talked about “Relationships lead to community and community fuels maturity.”
It made me think about all the people that are involved in faith communities (churches) that are carrying to much on their own. Whether it because of their own choice of not being involved in community by choosing to be that person who just shows up and never gets to know any one. Or that they are involved in a faith community (church) that doesn’t make relationships a priority. It burdened my heart to think about how we have so many people that say they are following Jesus but have made a choice to forget about the “One Another’s”. Through out the New Testament there many “One Another’s” and there is one that I thought of when it came to the man on the corner with the refrigerator.
2 Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ. Galatians 6:2 (NLT)
When did we start to think that we need to handle things all on our own? When did it become ok to know of the struggle someone is having and to do nothing? It is my prayer that today you will notice the family member or friend that is carrying to much, like the refrigerator and get involved. Who do you know that you can help carry the refrigerator down the street today? Don’t miss out on sharing in the burden.
Christmas Eve Hurt
Last week we celebrated Christmas all over the world and for many people that meant going to Christmas Eve church services. As a pastor of a church I often think about how important that these services can be for people that during the season will come and check out church. I mean if you are involved with volunteering at a church or on staff you have probably seen the investment that comes with getting ready for Christmas Eve. There are decorations, there is lighting, there is sound, the right songs, cookies, people dressed up for Christmas, and stuff for the kids. All of these things are not bad and they can be important for what you are doing at Christmas time. But this year I saw something that has challenged and changed my heart.
You see this year as we were all getting ready that night for Christmas Eve services at our church in Aurora. There were things that really caught my attention you see we had some places that didn’t have enough volunteers, there were some places that didn’t have the right volunteers, heck can I be honest there were places that didn’t have any volunteers. So as I was trying to figure out how to handle the volunteer issue I do what so many other pastors do in this case, I voluntold my son to help me out. Which he did with out a question, ok maybe with one question. Why? I told him that he is in the best place to make a difference during our Christmas Eve services. These words were so true, more than I would have ever known.
You see we had a man show up right about the time I was getting ready to go on stage to speak that was high and very drunk. We do live in CO so the high part is never a shock but the drunk part well that was hard for us all to see. So I as walked on stage I saw one of our elders, my son along and his college friend start to deal with this man. At least that is what I thought.
The truth of the matter is that they took some amazing time to care for this man. What my son shared with me was that this man had just walked in because he saw all the people walking in and heard the music. He told my son that he was feeling lost and so lonely that he thought I might as well walk in there. My son, his friend, and our elder gave him something to eat (cookies are important), then gave him a cup of coffee, and talked with him. Even helped him walk into the auditorium for a chance to hear silent night and watch the candles being lit, after he had fallen twice just trying to sit in a chair in our lobby area.
So when the service was over I came out to meet people and make sure everything was going ok. Well the man had wanted to go have a smoke in the parking lot (nothing new at this church), so my son and his friend went with him. Out there he shared with my son that he had been smoking weed all day and had been drinking with different people he knew all day. That he was lonely and just hurting. Then my son told me the man then proceeded to vomit up the cookies and the coffee. All the while my son stood with him and made sure that he was ok, even patting him on the back as he got sick. The man being very embarrassed, put out his smoke, hugged my son said thank you for listening and caring then walked away towards the street. My son and his friend followed the man to the street making sure that he was safe as he disappeared up the street into the darkness.
My son came back and told me how bad he felt for that man and that he was sorry that they couldn’t have done more.
To be honest as a father and pastor I have never been more proud of my son, our elder, and his friend. Because the truth of the matter is that in many other places and yes churches this man would have been seen as a problem and a nuisance. But on this Christmas Eve he was cared for he was fed and he was invited in to see and hear about the birth of Jesus. So what challenged and changed for me this Christmas Eve? I have always thought about making sure that we are prepared for the people that are coming to check out church. But in all honesty I have never thought about the people that might literally stumble into our church. So it challenged me to start thinking about the people that stumble in that are in need for something other then a church service, especially on Christmas Eve. It has changed me because as I stood on the stage and talked about how the shepherds that came and found Jesus were the outsiders in the community. We had the exact same thing going on right in our lobby. It has changed me because I want us to think about how we can have Christmas Eve services for those that are high, stumbling drunk, and lonely this next year. It changed me because of what an amazing man my son has become and how he cares for the people that no one else wants to care for in this world. It changed me because the elder of our church could have really been more worried about getting the guy out of the building instead of caring for him. He cared for him. It changed me because my sons friend who I know is struggling with the question of faith watched faith in action.
If this would have happened at your church how do you think people would have responded? What can you do next Christmas Eve to make sure that your community of faith is ready for the high, the stumbling drunk, and the lonely that might show up?
Why do I love my church?
Find out what I Love My Church.
When I was in high school I have to be honest, I did not love my church I didn’t love any church. I was at a place in my life where it was not a place where I felt I was welcome or even wanted. Not because of all the people but some of the people. But when you are in high school you make some generalized assumptions about people and places. (Not that adults do that at all. SARCASM) It took some very tough situations and some very caring people to get me to the place where I realized not only that I needed the church. But, that the church actually had a need for me. That through time I realized that “I Loved The Church.”
Now for some of us I may need to make a clarification. The church is not the building and it is not about religion. It is about Jesus and the people that come together that become the church through a relationship with him and others. It is a place where imperfect people come together to follow a perfect savior, Jesus. The church is not perfect because people are involved. But it will be some day when we all get together as a huge church and stand before Jesus.
But “I Love My Church”! Not because I am a pastor and not because I am a church starter. But because I am a follower of Jesus and I love to watch the church be the church. I love to watch people receive Jesus radical grace! I love to hear about how the church is serving people not because they have to but because they want! I love to see the church love on people even when it gets messy! I love to watch the church become a group of people that are willing to lead and multiply! I love when Jesus takes a hold and does what he loves to do through imperfect people to engage people so they experience life change.
I Love My Church, because Jesus loves his church.
Confession I am a Romantic!
I am going to admit something that I know can really enable me to catch a lot of heat from some of the guys that I hang out around. (MMA Fighters) But I am going to take this moment and use you for a little therapy. Ready, here we go.
I am a romantic.
I am the one in our marriage that is planning the romantic events. I am the one that is trying figure out how we can have really special moments. I am not sharing anything that my wife wouldn’t be willing to say isn’t true. In fact when we were first married it used to really drive me crazy. I mean I think that someone that knew Michelle and I really well bought her one of those books about being romantic. (True story) She has really changed since then, just saying. But I have always wanted to make things special.
So I want to share a few things with some guys out there that are not so romantic:
- Think of her and not you. (A back rub can be just that.)
- Find out what she calls romantic. (That means asking questions and then remembering, if you can’t remember then download, Evernote.)
- Romantic does not mean expensive, it does mean personal. (Plan things that mean something to you both as a couple, took my wife to eat at the place where I proposed to her. Wrote love notes to her and placed them in her car while she was at work.)
- Romantic means that she can show what you have done off to other women. (Ladies will probably deny this, maybe. But they want to be able to brag to the other ladies around them about what you do.)
- Romantic means that you are setting the standard in your home. (If you are a dad of daughters then you are making it tough on the guys your daughters will date. If you are a dad of sons then you are setting the standard for what they will do.)
- Make sure that you are totally focused on her and nothing else. (There is a time for couple dates, pick a place to eat with out ESPN, and remember that you don’t have to tweet about it.)
If you want to share in the comment section other ways that you can be romantic that would be awesome. I just ask that you keep them PG at least. (haha)
At The Bottom?
So this last week I have to be honest I was struggling with some of the things in my life. I was not happy with where certain things in my life were going. I was not happy with how I was feeling physically. I was not happy with the sound that the bird was making outside the house. I was not happy with . . . well you put it in there I was just not happy. I don’t know about you but for me it was one of those poor me days. I just want you to know that I hate you if you don’t know what I am talking about. (Just kidding, not really.)
So I just started looking at twitter. If you don’t know what that is . . . then get out of your cave. Maybe that is why you don’t have poor me days either, your hiding away in a cave. (Just kidding, not really.) While I was reading about all the great things that was happening in this church, or all of the cool things that were happening in this persons life, and about how this person got a new job. I found one tweet from Catalyst that had a link to a video and there I watched a video that really spoke to me. Check this one out!
There I heard Donald Miller ask the question, ‘If God came to you and said it is going to work out great. Do you think that you are going to have to go through a lot of hard times?”
As I listened to the rest of the video I realized that I was obviously not Joseph but I felt like everything was hard at the specific time. That in my heart and my head I was wondering really if all that we were doing was worth it? For me I knew the story of Joseph and how his family had sold him off, that he was a slave that was accused of misconduct, and who spent many years in jail forgotten. Until ONE DAY! ONE DAY he was brought in before the King and then ONE DAY he was put in charge of everything. (If you don’t know his story read here in the bible: Genesis chapter 37 – chapter 46.)
What I want to know is are you so tired of fighting, or are you so tired of being alone, or are you so tired of not having enough money, or are you just so tired that you feel that you are at your bottom? You see there is going to be that ONE DAY. But what if your ONE DAY is tomorrow and you quit today? But what if your ONE DAY is next week and you give up on Sunday? But what if your ONE DAY is next year and you quit on New Years Eve?
I want you to know that God is going to do what God is going to do, because He is God. I also want you to know that right now maybe as you look from the bottom of what ever it is in your life. I want you to know that God is able to do something great.
What is that great thing with you? I don’t know God does ask him.
If you want to know more about what means to have a relationship with God then please feel free to contact me. Especially if you feel that you are at the BOTTOM.
On The Steps!
A couple of Sunday mornings ago I was just wrecked by what we found on the top of these stairs at Mrachek Middle School. You see it was a typical Sunday morning for me, I got up early. Took out the street signs for the church that morning, praying over each sign as I put it in place. Then I drove back to the school and begin helping the different teams that we have setting up for the experiences that we offer at Mrachek Middle School as a portable church. There was the typical conversations going on over the music that we have playing while things are getting put into place. I have to be honest it is really fun to be with every one while they are setting up. But then Morgan my daughter came over to me and said, “Dad I found something when I was taking out the trash. There are feet sticking out at the top of the stairs outside the school.”
With that comment I immediately went walking very quickly to where she had seen the feet. I told her to stay at the bottom of the stairs and told her if I tell you to get help do it quickly. So as I cautiously walked up the stairs I noticed that it was not just one set of feet but two. I noticed that there was a bike leaning against the wall at the top and that there as I cleared the top stair were two high school aged boys laying there.
My first thought and pray was please God don’t let them be dead, because the way they were laying was very odd. So I quietly as not to startle them said, “Hey Guys are you okay?” There was no movement at all, but by this time I could see there breath coming out as it was one of our first cold nights. I again said the same thing only this time I shook the foot of one of the boys and I spoke a little bit louder. They both moved and looked at me with sleepy and very bloodshot eyes. I asked them if they were okay and if they wanted to come in and get something to eat and drink or to even to just warm up. But they both sheepishly said’ “No”. I asked again and they said, “No”. I then turned and walked down the stairs to see my daughter there standing before me. By the time I had walked back into the school I was overwhelmed with a series of thoughts here are the top three:
- Why didn’t any of us notice that they were there? (Other then my daughter Morgan who came after others were already in the building.)
- Where were their parents? Were they looking for them?
- What could I have done differently?
Then through all that I started thinking about Jesus and how in the bible it shares his perspective on those that are lost:
Luke 19:10 (NLT) 10 “For the Son of Man came to seek and save those who are lost.”
I thought about how every day that you and I walk around our neighborhoods and we don’t notice the feet of those that are missing out on a relationship with Jesus. I thought about how God being the good dad that he is says in Psalm 23 that he is pursing us. I thought about how I need to be more intentional when it comes to not just running through life and that I need to stop and look around for the feet at the top of the stairs.
What are you doing in your life when it comes to looking for the feet at the top of the stairs?
Spending Time
This last Saturday I had the great opportunity to spend the evening with my brother Casey and Peter Boyle. It was dinner and it was then watching some local MMA fights with KICK DOWN MMA 110. It was a lot of fun being able to be a part of a great event and a great night. But what I enjoyed the most was the time that I was able to spend with my brother and with Peter here is why:
- That when you spend time with people you get to hear things about their life that you might not hear if you are just passing through.
- That when you spend time with someone you get to know even more about them if you understand that you need to listen.
- That when you spend time with someone you might just experience something that you never thought you would. (Meeting Royce Gracie)
- That when you spend time with someone you see them enjoy life and share life with them.
But the problem is that most of us are so busy that we don’t take the time to really be with people. We are checking our phones, we are watching TV, we are on our IPADS, or we are just not paying attention to the people around us. Here is my challenge to you this week. SPEND TIME with someone, don’t do it with the TV on, don’t do it with your phone in your hand, and don’t do it just on your terms. SPEND TIME being with someone. So parents plan out time to SPEND TIME with your kids, if you are married SPEND TIME with your spouse, (Date your Mate, blog for another day.) and if you have people that you are just getting to know SPEND TIME getting to know them. By the way thanks Casey and Peter for spending time with me, it is much appreciated and I hope and pray that we get to SPEND more TIME.
Live Like Austin Day
In the middle of all of the chaos and darkness of the last couple of weeks with the rain and flooding in Colorado there is a bright spot. This weekend the UNC Football Team is hosting the “Live Like Austin Day”. This is going to be a day where the University of Northern Colorado and it’s students take the time to support a terminally ill young man named Austin Ervin. If you are unfamiliar with the story then let me share with you how this all got started last spring.
Elevation Church last April took a step of faith and made it possible to let Kurt and Austin have a great father and son weekend. So we covered the flight, hotel, and food but there were much bigger plans that we did not foresee. During that weekend Kurt and Austin were able to experience some amazing things like:
- Denver Zoo had Austin feed the giraffe’s and have a great day.
- 710 KNUS had Kurt and Austin on the morning show at the time Kelly & Company.
- The Denver Bronco’s gave them a tour of Dove Valley and shared with them some special places and items.
- The Movie Tavern gave them dinner and a movie. GI JOE yep a boys night out.
- The Doubletree gave them a special stay. Awesome staff there.
- The Grudge Fight Team and Gym had them hang out and spar with some of the UFC and MMA fighters that train there.
- The UNC Football Team had them up for an amazing day, to be honest to much happened for me to share with this little space. So check out this video:
You see the University of Northern Colorado and their football team are having a “Live Like Austin Day”. Through this young man the football team has found inspiration and encouragement as they go through this season. So with all that in mind they are going to be using this day to help further the cause of the Austin Ervin Foundation. A foundation that was created to encourage and help families that have children that are living with being terminally ill. www.livelikeaustin.com
If you are interested in finding out more about this weekend then make sure that you check out my Facebook page. You can also make sure that you get the blog updates by signing up on this page. You also will be encouraged to follow the hash tag #LIVELIKEAUSTIN and follow on Twitter @LiveLikeAustinE
How Does Memorial Day Matter?
A picture from the Vietnam Wall of our relative that gave the ultimate sacrifice, his life.
How does Memorial Day matter to you? Is that you get a long weekend that is all that matters? Is that you get to barbecue and have a few beers with friends is that all that matters?
For my family and I it has always been an opportunity for us to remember that there are men and women that gave their lives so that ours would matter. That we have generation after generation of men and women in our family tree that have served in some form or another for our country. So for us when it comes to Memorial Day it is the men and women who have given the ultimate sacrifice so that we can have the freedoms that we enjoy. Like having a long weekend. Like having a barbecue and a couple of beers with friends. Let us not forget why we have this holiday.
So thank you to Clayton P. Hoffman (grandpa), thank you Phil Bloyer (dad), thank you Clay Bloyer (brother), and ultimately Sheldon E. Bloyer.
Who are those that you choose to remember when it comes to Memorial Day?
What would you do with your last days?
Over the last couple of days I have to say that I was not all that excited about what I was doing and who I was at the time. So just like many people I started having a pity party, until I saw this video:
(Make sure that you take the time to watch the whole thing.)
So if you are like me and you are having a tough day and you feel that your life is just to hard. Then I challenge you to watch this video and remember the song “Clouds”. Thanks to the family & friends of Zach Sobiech.
What are the ways that you see God reminding you of how blessed your life really is . . .
Dealing with Insecurity
Over the last couple of years as we have walked through planting a church in Aurora, CO. I have had to deal with many areas of growth. Developing leaders, doing long range planning, and knowing what to do when to do it. (Still working on that one.) But most of all I have had to deal with my insecurity.
I had a person that I have in my life that is able to speak into those areas of my life and a couple of weeks ago he just said, “Scott you are a very insecure person.” At first it really kind of ticked me off. But the more I have thought about it the more it has really been a freeing moment for me. I am insecure.
I am insecure about:
- my marriage
- my parenting
- my ability
- my leadership
- my . . . .
But the one thing that I gain strength from as the insecure person is my true security coming from my identity in Jesus. I am a follower of the risen Savior Jesus. I am a jacked up, insecure person, that only can live life because of the radical grace of Jesus Christ.
John 1:12 12 But to all who believed him and accepted him, he gave the right to become children of God.
Sounds simple doesn’t it. Well it is! Every day since that conversation I have woke up with the this statement. “I am a child of the risen and conquering Savior, my life only comes from Him. I am secure because of what he has done, not me!” Take some time to say this statement each day and see what it does for you.
Hi, my name is Scott Bloyer and I am secure with being insecure. Who is with me?
Opening Ceremony Question
Please feel free to share your thoughts, needed to have a little fun!
I just want you to take some time and tell me what you think about the opening ceremony? Leave your thoughts below.
Read and Run Required
Over the last couple of weeks I have really taken the time to make sure that there are two things that are becoming more an more of a priority in my weekly schedule. It is reading and it is running. What I have found is that these two things are important to my sanity and my future as a leader in the church. So here is what I am doing to make sure that they happen.
When it comes to running I have made a goal of wanting to run in the Boulder-Boulder next spring. For me I know that I have to have a goal to aim for when it comes to running. Like several years ago I had been challenged to run the P.F. Changs Half Marathon well with that goal and the challenge I ended up running the halp marathon in Phoenix. This time part of the challenge is to be able to run the race that God has placed before me when it comes to leading Eleavation. If I am not healthy and I am not taking care of myself physically I won’t finish well. So I plan my days of running each week and I even use an app that enables me to track how I am doing. This is not only enabling me to be healthy physically but also to be healthy mentally it is a great stress release. The run is becoming a requirement. (Jeff Maness inspired)
Then there is the reading I am doing now. I have a Kindle Touch and for those of you like me that are bookaholics it is like giving a book a of matches to a Pyro. Not good. But it has enabled me to be more effective with my reading as well as keeping notes during my reading. But I have made reading a priority for me to continue to learn in many different areas. I can quote Rick Warren, “Leaders are learners when you stop learning you stop leading.” So I have been using the time that I have around the house reading and reading with focus. Making sure that I have my time in the morning with my bible, then reading for a half hour. Then in the evening I make sure that I go up to my bedroom at least a half hour before I am going to sleep and read some more. This enables me to focus as well as accomplish a lot more with in the week.
So I pray that if you are in a season where you feel stuck then make a Read and Run requirement in your life. If you are a person that is needing an opprotunity to get prepared for a new step in leading then make a Read and Run requirement in your life. The only thing that needs to happen is for you to make a choice to go for it. Set a goal and live for the future. If there is a way that I can encourage you to Read and Run then let me know.
Signing Day with my Son
It has been a a very intense couple of weeks while my son Tyler walked through deciding which college that he wanted to attend. We made a trip to Adams State College in Alamosa, CO and met some amazing coaches. It was a great weekend with my son and one of the other players from Rangeview as they walked through the campus. It was fun to see the different perspectives they each had about the school and being a future student there.
Then the next week we spent a day at the University of Colorado in Greeley. It was a first class day with a first class program. The head coach at the school is an amazing man and I believe a coach that is getting ready to make a difference in this schools football program. Along with the other coaches that are there I think this program is heading in an amzsing direction. But it was not up to me. It was a decision that Tyler had to make on his own. So we left Greeley came home and began the process of preparing for signing day.
On Sunday afternoon I thought that Tyler had fallen asleep so I opened his door to walk in and turn off his radio. But to my surprise he was sitting at his desk with the two hats of the two schools that he had visited with the pens across the bills. There in front of the two hats was his bible opened up to Psalms and Tyler was praying over the two hats. He was really seeking what God wanted in this decision. So I slowly shut the door and returned to the living room to share with Michelle what I had just seen. It was a moment that I will keep in my heart as a dad. In fact to me that was even better then the moment that I watched him sign his letter of intent. Signing day with my son was a day that I saw a young man take to heart the direction that God had laid on his heart and he took an amazing step of faith. I am so proud of the man that my son is and I can’t wait to see what happens in the coming years while he is playing football and attending the University of Colorado.
This is what I found on my son's desk.
Off to College: A Dad’s Perspective
Enjoyed the summer with Danielle.
Today Michelle and I are driving our oldest Danielle to her first year of college. She will be attending the University of Nothern Colorado looking to get a degree in Elementary Education. She also will be moving away from home and her family for the first time. It is one of those moments as a parent that you realize that all the times that other parents said, “Life moves way fast.” Were totally right. But I have to be honest as Danielle’s dad I am so excited and so proud of who she is and how she has become such and awesome woman of faith. I know that at some moment today I am going to look at her and remember the times that we played on the swing set in Montana. The day that she laid in bed with her Mom and said “Yes” to Jesus. That I will remember the little girl that liked to play dress up. That I will see the little soccer player. That I will remember the first time she went to a school dance. That I will remember the day I was proud to baptize her. That I will remember the days that she sat on my lap and cried her eyes out. That I will remember the times we shared her Christian crack addiction at Starbucks. But all of these memories will not wiegh me down. They will encourage the perspective that I already have about being a parent and the goal that I set a long time ago as Jesus laid it on my heart. That my job as a dad is that my kids “Leave Well.” Danielle is leaving well and I do not expect anything less. I am so proud and excited to see what the near future holds for her at UNC.
Danielle if you read this; I want you to know that I am one proud dad and that I am only a phone call, text, Skype, away. Oh yeah, continue to remind the guys around you that I still have the bow and they will not hear it coming. LOVE YOU.
Children’s Hospital Visit
On Monday, January 31st I had the honor and privilege to walk around the Aurora Children’s Hospital some of the best and brightest MMA fighters and their trainers. We had Brendan Schaub, Nate Marguart, Justin Wren, Jennifer Berg, Julio Gallegos, Ricky Vasquez, Alvin Robinson, Jason Lee, Luke Cadillo, Duane Ludwig and then there was Trevor Wittman his wife Christina Wittman, Ron Kruck, Jonathan Chaimberg, and many other amazing guys. A big part of the day was to help Fight Ribbon continue to share their message of hope for cancer patients and Brent Thompson and Scott Wells came prepared with t-shirts and wristbands that we were able to hand out to everyone we ran into during the day.
What I saw was a group of guys and gals that were not only there willing and able to share hope with kids and their families but they were also human beings that were affected by the hurt and suffering that they encountered in every room. I am still amazed at the ignorance of some people that think these individuals are some hardened crazed bulldogs that just want to fight with everyone in the world. When in all reality they are husbands, fathers, wives, and friends that are trying to do a job as well as become a champion in their weight class. So they train and they train hard. But on this day they chose to leave their training to see kids that are sick and hurting. What most people will never see or have known is there were guys that had to leave rooms because they were broken with what they saw. That there were guys that shed tears for some of the kids they met because they saw the faces of their own children in the rooms. That they were so upset that these little kids were there sick with a disease that still doesn’t have a cure, cancer.
I was also proud that I was able to watch some of the people that attend Elevation walk along with these guys and make sure that they were able to focus on the kids that wanted to see the fighters. It was a great day and I can’t wait to see this happen more and more so that we can encourage kids to “Fight for Hope.”
Giving and God’s Word
This weekend was awesome. It was our first Easter weekend living back in Colorado after almost twelve years. It was also the first time that we were able to celebrate easter with some of the people that make up Elevation Christian Church. But even that was not the best thing about the weekend. It was being able to give two young men that gave their lives to Jesus a couple of weeks ago. They both were so excited about the books that they were giving especially as we sat in the service together at Southeast Christian Church they were able to read along with everyone else. But it would not have happened if it were not because of the people that have been giving to the work of this church start. As I have been taking time each day to read through God’s word it always gets me excited about what we are doing here in Aurora.
Hebrews 11:1 (NLT) What is faith? It is the confident assurance that what we hope for is going to happen. It is the evidence of things we cannot yet see.
This is a verse that has been giving me more and more courage everyday. I know that the beginning point of faith is believing in God’s character, he is who he he says. Next that the end point is believing God’s promises even though we don’t see the promises come true right in front of us, we are demonstrating true faith. I gain courage from this verse because I believe that we will see a group of people that are not just talking about being a followers of Jesus but living that life. We will be the church that is on the move not waiting a church waiting to see what happens next. That we will be a group of people that are reaching people that are far from Jesus. This is what I see and this is what I believe God is going to do in the city, this state, and where ever we are able to go in His name.
"Psycho for Jesus" Scott Bloyer 