So starting in the month of February I am going to be recording once a month a podcast for dads. Single dads, married dads, divorced dads, future dads, empty nest dads, and mentor dads of kids in your community. So once that I have the podcast location and have the logo I will be posting the information for you start tuning in. But what I want to do is invite you to share with me here in the comments section any questions that you might have about being a dad. It is my hope that we can together discover and recover some of the amazing things that are to be done as a dad with and for our kids.
List below any questions or thought that you think would be good to cover on a podcast for dads. Because we are going to Dare U 2 Dad!
One of the ways that I think that we can start by changing the attitudes of the people around us is putting them first. Which means that we have to not think about ourselves as much. That is just a mini quote of C.S. Lewis:
“Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it’s thinking of yourself less.”
So I want to be able to challenge each of us to start thinking of ourselves less when it comes to walking through life. I recently was at the gym working out and while I was stretching out I was able to people watch and I was amazed at the interaction that I saw play out before me. There was woman that was working out on a mat in the area in front of me. She was to my approximation in her late 60’s early 70’s and obviously was struggling with something physically. But she was doing her best to get done what she was working at to get better. Then as I watched a younger much healthier woman walked into the same area grabbed the battle ropes, stretched them out over the elderly woman’s mat and got ready to work out. She didn’t even bat an eye when it came to the other woman working out in that area. I just sat back and I watched as the younger woman began to work out over the other woman’s mat while the other woman stood there waiting to get her mat. The younger woman looked up at the older woman shook her head in annoyance and then kicked the older woman’s mat to her like she had always been there before the older woman.
That is where I had enough! I stood up walked over the to the older woman and asked her if she needed to continue to do her work out. She looked like she was tearing up and so I invited her to come over to where I was stretching out to finish up. The younger woman then decided to address me, not a smart idea. I won’t tell you what she said to me in front of the other woman but let’s say it embarrassed the other woman. To which I responded, “Well at least this lady was willing to wait for you to get done with what you were doing before you were so rude in kicking over her mat. I am so glad that this lady is here because she is working on be a better person not a bitter person.” Ok not one of my best moments but I hurt for the older woman at that moment. Needless to say the younger woman quickly got out of the area and the older woman looked at me and said, “Thank you for helping me. It just seems like no one looks out for anyone else but themselves.”
So that has been bouncing around in my head for the last couple of days. Here is what I hope that this can challenge each of us to do, THINK OF YOURSELF LESS. In the next couple of days, open the door for someone else, let’s someone in on the highway, share the area that you are working out in, shovel your neighbors sidewalk, let someone go ahead of you at the grocery store. Maybe even take the time to talk with your kids or the kids around you so that they understand what Common Courtesy is and why it is important if we are going to lead the next generation to be better then us.
What are three things that you can do this week for someone else? What are three things that you can do with your kid for someone else? Make sure that you are doing it without planning to get a thank you, why you might ask? Because common courtesy should be done without the hope of anyone noticing.
So while I was looking through my Facebook feed the other day this is a video that was posted by Larry Leith from Tokyo Joe’s. (By the way I love their food and I love the culture that they have created for their business.) It is a great little coffee shop that is located down in Colorado Springs just an hour from where we live here in Aurora. The whole idea of the video is that people would go and visit other coffee shops in the area because of the community that has embraced them and by doing so end up with a free drink at Loyal Coffee. They are calling it the “Dis-Loyality Card”! What an amazing idea!
Here is where this video took me though – the church community. Isn’t this what we should be doing as the church? Letting people know that the community of faith is here for each other and build a community that is for the city not just ourselves? I was recently a part of a conversation about two churches in a community coming together for an event that helps grow leadership for both the city and the communities of faith. It was going to be an exciting opportunity to see the KINGDOM of Jesus respond in a way that would be a huge influence in the city. Well unfortunately one of the churches was not willing to partner in this endeavor because the building where the event was being held was not good enough for their people. Are you serious? The building is the reason that these two churches couldn’t come together to make a difference in the city like never before?
What if we decided to have “Dis-Loyalty” Sundays where we encouraged the people of our churches to go and support another church in the community? What if we called them BIG KINGDOM Sunday’s and we showed support for the big kingdom of Jesus?
What do you think about the coffee shop idea? What do you think about the BIG KINGDOM Sunday idea?
Over the last 10 weeks I have been working with about 20 guys when it comes to our Spiritual Fitness Process at Elevation. It has been an amazing opportunity for these guys to get to know one another and for them to get to know what it means to be a follower of Jesus that makes followers of Jesus. So one of the recent weeks we began to talk about what is most important when it comes to helping people volunteer and work together as the church. It was a conversation that you could tell was creating energy in the room and was really starting to gain ground in each of the guys minds. So for me being a visual learner I started putting what they were talking about to a graph on the wipe board. (The Picture Above) When we were done this is what was fleshed out.
Now here is the thing. I believe that what we walked away writing out does not just pertain to a church community but to business as well. Here are the bullet points to the idea that we came up with:
- Most leaders are Baby Boomers or Gen X. so they are looking for tasks to be completed. Is the job getting done?
- Most Millennial’s or Generation Z (See this book.) would be looking for a relationship to happen with the person they are working with. Are we working together?
- So what we said was that if the job is not getting done, then the leader is going to get frustrated. If there is no relationship then the follower is going to get frustrated.
- The big idea for both to grow is that there is supposed to be talking/teaching while the tasks are being completed. (The idea: you watch, I do, we talk.)
- Then the leader and the follower grow and the opportunity for business or church growth happens as well.
What are your thoughts about the idea? What do you think is missing? Where do you feel the most frustration as a leader and as a follower?
This week my brother Casey sent me an amazing article about Ryan Leaf and his life experiences. What was so amazing about the article is that it was Ryan Leaf writing a letter to his younger self. If you want to read it just click here you won’t be disappointed. But it made me think about what if I were to write a letter to my younger self and what would be the things that I would want to share. Here are just a few of the highlights that I would share with my younger self:
- Don’t let what people say about you or to you determine what you see in yourself.
- Just because they are people that go to church doesn’t mean that they represent Jesus.
- Know that when you experience heart break that it is leading you to the woman that you will spend the rest of your life with.
- Just because there is a job that you want doesn’t necessarily mean that is that job that you need. God’s vision for you is bigger then your vision for you.
- Enjoy the process and don’t always look for the next step.
- Remember that your accomplishments are not in what you do but who you do them with in life. There are three kids in your life that will change you and grow you more then you will ever know.
This is just a little of what I think that I would write to a younger Scott Bloyer. What are some things that you would write down and tell your younger self if you could? Looking back is always a good thing, just remember to not stay there. (Share one of your bullet points here.)
So this last week strongman Eddie Hall completed a one rep of deadlift of 1102.31 lbs. and then as soon as he put the weight down collapsed. In fact if you want to watch the video of him completing this life just click here and watch. This is a guy that all he does is train and train and train for this event and when he completed the lift it totally drained him. Why is that so many of us think that we can work harder and harder with out thinking we will fall?
So here are a few things that we each should think about when it comes to avoiding the big let down after the big lift:
- Make sure you know your own ability. To many people think that they can handle more and more when it comes to their lives. But ultimately it is really way more then they can handle and because it is more than they can handle they collapse under the weight. They collapse in their marriage, with their finances, with their friends, and maybe they collapse physically.
- Make sure that you take time to rest. After Eddie made this lift he ended up having nosebleeds and passed out. His body let him know that it was time to rest. Some people are being told by their bodies through stress, anxiety, chest pains, and other symptoms that it is time to rest. So what do you do to rest? I like to ride my motorcycle because you can’t answer emails, you can’t except phone calls, and you just go. I take naps on Sunday afternoons, after a long Sunday morning.
- Make sure you take time to recover. This is different then rest. Rest should be something that you do on a regular basis, when it comes to recovery this should be through out the year. Here I will put it this way, VACATION. That’s right you need to take a vacation that is all about recovery, do nothing, lounge away, without any schedule. If you don’t take the recovery time through out your life the rest will just help you limp along and not function at your best.
These are just three simple things that if you are wanting to be able to life the big weight in life to do. One of the other things that I know is helpful when it comes to maintaining the ability to lift big and well in life is being a part of a church community. There you will find other people that can become your lifting partner in life. You can’t lift big weight all by yourself it will just crush you eventually. For more information about Elevation just click here.
I know that in many places that leadership and leadership development can be an area of conflict. I know that especially when it comes to the church people can really get touchy about it. But over the last 4 years as we have been starting a church I have learned that if you don’t feed the leader then things go bad quickly. Especially when you are the one that everyone expects to be the leader. So I am really challenging myself to be a leader that is focused on feeding myself when it comes to becoming a better leader.
“Everyone wins when a leader gets better.” Bill Hybels
I want to be a leader that is getting better so that people around me are getting better. So there are some things that I am doing intentionally to get better:
- Reading the bible from the perspective of how will this make me better as a husband, father, and leader.
- Listening to leaders from different areas of leadership. Business, art, marketing so that I can start to think as a leader differently.
- Reading books that influence my ability to grow others around me. I recently read the book “Protégé” by Steve Saccone and it rocked my world.
- Meeting with leaders that are better then me and that are steps ahead of me when it comes to being a better husband, father, and church leader.
What I want to remind you is that, “Everyone is a leader somewhere”. So what are you doing to feed yourself to be a better leader? Because everyone wins when a leader gets better!