Living the crazy life that God has given me!

Romance in Marriage

Over the last couple of weeks I have been doing a lot of talking to both young men and young women about love, sex, relationship, and romance.  What I am learning is that many of them especially the young men think that romance is just what happens between the sheets.  That either from what they have seen or heard that you only need to romance someone until you get married or I have even heard, “that is the woman’s job”.  When I heard that I looked at the young man that said that and asked him “So when was the last time you were on date?”. He just looked at me.  I replied to the blank stare with “That is what I thought.”  

What I want to shout from the roof tops is Men need to quit trying to be what the world sees as a macho manly man and become a real man.  As I have been reading through the Bible and looking at Song of Songs and hearing the romance that is going on between a man and a women I really see how stupid we as men have become when it comes to romance.  I mean Solomon the king is rich, powerful, wise, and his romantic.  I think that in my book I want to hear what he says over Dr. Phil.  He talks about romance, about being in love, about the beauty of his bride, he even goes as far as writing a Song.  The title of the book is “Song of Songs”.  What have you done lately for your wife that had nothing to do with a holiday that was probably created by a love starved wife because her husband was a moron and did not how to romance her.  So if there was a holiday he might be guilted in to doing something.  

Men, I use that term because I want to talk to the men that really want to love there wife.  Men go and get her flowers if that is what she likes, go into the kitchen and clean up after dinner in stead of putting your fat butt on the couch.  Make sure that she is satisfied and taken care of before yourself.  Because I want to remind you that if you can do that then most likely she won’t have any reason to want someone else. (There is more about that later to come.) 

What have you done romantically lately that has nothing to do with Valentine’s day or because you felt guilty?

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2 responses

  1. humanbeingblog

    Amen Scott! Romance, from a woman’s point of view, is what a man does and says to show that he loves, respects, admires, appreciates and cherishes me. Romance on one hand is the material things–the flowers for no reasons, the random love notes or texts, the gifts given on occasions. On the other hand, it’s the intangible things, such as opening the door, putting your hand in the small of her back, coming up behind her as she’s cooking or whatever and putting your arms around her. It’s saying the words I love you often. It’s little compliments on her looks, her eyes, her cooking (or the way she eats your cooking). It’s listening to her without judgment or trying to fix it. It’s giving her space to grow and become a stronger person. It’s about acknowledging the work she does, the contributions she makes to your life together–with words, with physical attention that isn’t sex. And all of this applies to women too. EACH partner in a relationship has responsibility to make the other partner feel cherished. And that takes work.

    Men stray because they want sex. Women stray because they want love.

    February 20, 2009 at 9:14 AM

  2. I totally agree with what you are saying. I just feel sorry that most men have not had someone share this with them that is not female. Let alone a male that is not doing the same thing in there own home. I just talk to the man’s perspective because I think most men are not either raised with this perspective or that they never have a healthy male representative of romance. Usually romance means SEX. I pray that I can give them a view of romance that is healthy and will enable them to love their wife the way that she needs to be loved not the way that they want her to be loved. Learning what ways their wife feels loved there is a great book for couples it is the “5 Basic Love Languages” I actually use this with pre-marriage counseling.

    February 20, 2009 at 9:23 AM

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