While the city of Aurora was reeling from the shooting at the Century 16 Theaters on Friday. Saturday some students from Marachek Middle School and who are partnered with Save Our Youth came to our offices to get back packs for school. These students each have an adult mentor that is focusing on enabling them to see a brighter future.
Through out the summer the team members of Elevation have been putting together the back packs. We started with the goal of sixty back packs. Wanting to make sure that we were able to take care of all the students that make up the Aurora Public Schools students in Save Our Youth. What happened was Elevation really stepped up and we ended up with seventy-one backpacks as well as seven extra bags worth of school supplies.
Even though we had spent the last day and a half with families that were experiencing great hurt and loss. That evening we were able to see some smiles on faces that might not have been smiling when it came to the first day of school. The people of Elevation was used by God to make a difference in our community. I am so fortunate to be the pastor at Elevation and to see the people understand the value of being a church for the community not just in the community.
Thanks to all of the Community Groups and the Team members that donated to these smiles at Elevation. I can not wait to see what happens next when it comes to caring for our community.
What are some of the ways that you can be used to be for your community?
Today Michelle and I are driving our oldest Danielle to her first year of college. She will be attending the University of Nothern Colorado looking to get a degree in Elementary Education. She also will be moving away from home and her family for the first time. It is one of those moments as a parent that you realize that all the times that other parents said, “Life moves way fast.” Were totally right. But I have to be honest as Danielle’s dad I am so excited and so proud of who she is and how she has become such and awesome woman of faith. I know that at some moment today I am going to look at her and remember the times that we played on the swing set in Montana. The day that she laid in bed with her Mom and said “Yes” to Jesus. That I will remember the little girl that liked to play dress up. That I will see the little soccer player. That I will remember the first time she went to a school dance. That I will remember the day I was proud to baptize her. That I will remember the days that she sat on my lap and cried her eyes out. That I will remember the times we shared her Christian crack addiction at Starbucks. But all of these memories will not wiegh me down. They will encourage the perspective that I already have about being a parent and the goal that I set a long time ago as Jesus laid it on my heart. That my job as a dad is that my kids “Leave Well.” Danielle is leaving well and I do not expect anything less. I am so proud and excited to see what the near future holds for her at UNC.
Danielle if you read this; I want you to know that I am one proud dad and that I am only a phone call, text, Skype, away. Oh yeah, continue to remind the guys around you that I still have the bow and they will not hear it coming. LOVE YOU.
Over the last couple of months I had really had trouble being creative. I was spending more and more time going what am I going to do? How am I going to present this? What is something that will enable people to have fun and get caught? I was even just trying to make sure that I was just getting the simple things done. I was in a bad state when it came to being able to think or act creative. But then I was given some great help from the people who work alongside me at Elevation.
It started with finding out all of the things that I was doing on a regular basis. Then it was seeing the things that I needed to be able to hand off to other people. Then the process began where things were being taken off my plate. This is what I specifically heard about my life, “A Creative Crisis comes from a claustrophobic condition.” I had allowed my laugh to become so claustrophobic with the things in my life that I was then in a creative crisis. No what happens in this crisis? I had so much noise going on that I was unable to hear what God was teaching me and telling me. Maybe you are in the same place. Maybe you are having a creative crisis in your marriage, maybe it is a creative crisis in your school work, your job, your time. It is because maybe you are doing so much that you are unable to get creative. So I encourage you to build more margin in your life. I encourage you to realize that there are things in your life that you can either stop doing or enable others to do with you or EVEN for you.
What is causing the “claustrophobic condition” in your life? I ask you to pray and ask someone who you trust, a lifting partner on what you need to change. I also know that there are some of you going I don’t need to do this, well then ask your wife, your husband, how about your kids. I know that they will tell you.
I am so excited that this weekend we are having some very special and awesome people share their story during our services at Elevation Christian Church in Aurora, CO. You are not going to want to miss hearing all that has happend in their life and thier marriage over the last year. So with that we are finishing up our series called “I Want A New Marriage” and we want to do something special. We want to make sure that we are not just a church that talks a good game but really puts our money where are mouth is when it comes to enabling people to experience life change. So this weekend during our services we are going to give away a “NIGHT OUT” we have purchased meals and a movie tickets for two lucky people that come this weekend. The meals are for Chili’s, On The Border, Macaroni Grill, or Maggiano’s. The movie theatres are Regal Cinemas, United Artist Theatres, and Edwards Theatres.
We have been talking about making sure that we are loving and caring for the people in our lives. We know that right now for people it can be a huge financial burden just to be able to afford to go out. Well now that is not going to be an issue because we have taken care of that for you. Who knows maybe we could talk Ryan Graham into being your driver. (That is a joke, not happening) Make sure that you get to one of our services this weekend at 9:00 & 10:30AM at Dalton Elementary School in Aurora, CO. If you are a really nice friend you might even invite them to come with you so that they have a chance at winning as well.
At the beginning of the month on Superbowl Sunday we as a church chose to also be a part of what is called “Porn Sunday”. Crag Gross and the people at XXXChurch did an awesome job of providing information as well as support to the churches that were a part of “Porn Sunday”. It was a very powerful and amazing day where we saw both men and women start to deal with their addiction to porn. But I want to share with you just a small section of a letter that was sent to me by a very brave and awesome lady that has gone through a destructive relationship that was destroyed by a porn addiction. What she shared was some things for spouses of porn addicts to work through. I felt that they were awesome to let people read because this is from someone that has gone through the fire and is on the other side with a perspective that will enable us to care for and reach not just the porn addict but their family as well. Here is what she shared:
1. I didn’t show honor – At the time, in my mind it was ALL his fault – our divorce. I had done nothing wrong. I now know differently. While I can’t change anyone, I am fully responsible for me. I reacted with rage, anger, bitterness, un-forgiveness, hatred, verbal abuse, and emotional withdrawal. Someone had quoted a verse to me earlier and was right to quote it to me, though it was used out of context: “Love covers a multitude of sins.” I now understand what that means – I had told everyone I knew of all of my husband’s faults and about his addiction for TWO reasons: 1) I really did want help and 2) Honestly, to try to make me look good and him bad. I did not honor him. While what he had done was wrong, what I had done in spreading the gossip about his addiction was just as wrong. It was not honoring, respectful, or loving. I see now it did not provide an environment where he could feel safe to be vulnerable and receive the help & healing he needed. That’s not to say he would have chosen to do that if I had reacted differently. Maybe he would have accepted help, maybe not.
2. It is ok to be angry!! It’s not ok for that to grow to bitterness. Several years later I finally did receive the help that I needed. I was able to express my anger and intense pain to people who listened and didn’t blame. But at the same time they held me accountable for HOW I expressed that anger and wouldn’t let me stay there. There is help out there and for those who have a spouse involved in pornography – THEY HAVE TO GET HELP FOR THEMSELVES. I realized I was trying to change my husband. To make him stop so I wouldn’t hurt any more. I couldn’t change him. I can only change myself. I learned to press deeply into God’s Word and let him change ME. To see my ex-husband through God’s eyes. I was able to release him and forgive him. The pain is still there, but it doesn’t control me. I was able to write my ex-husband a letter asking forgiveness for what I had done in verbally lashing out at him and the other hateful things I had done.
3. Boundaries are necessary. Pornography is progressive. It is a sex-addiction. It is wrong. It destroys families. It may not always be necessary to divorce but sometimes it is necessary to separate. Make boundaries clear beforehand and with a plan as to what will happen during the time of separation.
If are you someone that is in a relationship with someone that is a Porn Addict then I encourage you to go to XXXChurch.com and see what they can do to help you. If you are a person maybe a husband or dad that is dealing with this then I ask you to go to someone and get help right away. This is not just something that affects you it affects your whole family. If you are a lady and would like to email the woman that shared what she dealt with then please message me and I will make sure you can get connected with her. I also want to remind each and every person that reads through this that Jesus loves you not matter what you have done or where you have been and He is waiting for you.
Over the last couple of weeks at Elevation Christian Church we have really felt the need to tackle some heavy topics. We talked about PORN and the damage it does to relationships. We didn’t back down from what it means for the families of people dealing with PORN as well as the ones that are addicted to it.
This week we tackled another heavy topic, DIVORCE. It was a message that I truly prayed over and really knew that we needed to deal with as we go through this series called “I Want A New Marriage”. Anytime that you talk about marriage you also have to talk about divorce seeing how in some books they say 35% of marriages end in divorce or some others say that it is as high as 50%. No matter what the statistic may be it is an area of life that has affected us all. I can share about the different relationships in my own family that have been effected, I have uncles and aunts, cousins, a brother, and even my own parents. So as I walked into this weekend were I felt that there needed to be much grace when it came to this topic because I too know the sting of this subject and how it changes each person that is involved. I also knew that we needed to call peoples attention to the severity of the damage that it causes and I chose to even point out that living together because you have been hurt in divorce is not what God wants either. I know that there are situations that I might not now about or that there are things that have happened in the past. All I know is that I am called by God to speak about what He wants for our marriages and if that bothers someone then I have to remember that even Jesus had people get upset with His teaching. (Good company to be in I think.)
What was awesome was the conversations that I did have with several couples that have been attending our church and are seeing the next steps that they need to take in their own relationships. That they heard the grace and mercy of Jesus and they understood that what they were doing was not what God wanted for them in their relationships and that they knew that God as calling them to make some huge commitments and decisions in their lives. I pray that they continue to take those steps to live the way that Jesus has called them to live not because it is easy but because it is the best for them.
As we start this series on the Relationship Recovery I thought that it would be the best to make sure we start with the guys. We have decided to take the stance that Relationship Recovery is not about “therapy” but being like a medic or a firefighter that comes in to recover the injured. We are looking to really get in there and save some relationships through the example that Jesus has set for us. Now I want every guy to realize that whether you are single, married, or just thinking girls are OK. This is an opportunity for each of us where ever we are at in life to realize there is a standard for how to care for the women in our lives.
Ephes. 5:25-30 (NLT) And you husbands must love your wives with the same love Christ showed the church. He gave up his life for her  to make her holy and clean, washed by baptism and God’s word.  He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault.  In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man is actually loving himself when he loves his wife.  No one hates his own body but lovingly cares for it, just as Christ cares for his body, which is the church.  And we are his body.
We need to make sure that we see the importance of something that come from these verses. First we need to make sure that we are ready and able to sacrifice everything for the relationship, especially if we are married. Jesus set the pace in this area. Second every man needs to know that her well being should be the utmost importance. That means in many different ways. Financially, relationally, sexually (MARRIED ONLY), and in the house. What are you doing to make her feel secure in the relationship? You need to think that through. Then third and finally,He should care for her as he cares for his own body. Now that means for some of us we need to start taking way better care of her, have you looked in the mirror (joke). The point is that you are never going to let yourself die so why would you let her? (Some women really feel that they are dying inside because of the way the men in their lives are treating them.)
Take the time this week to really evaluate the way your are setting the pace in your relationships with the women in your life. What do you need to change? Ladies what would you like to see in the men of Elevation? Or what would you hope would change in your life because of the men in your life?
So I am sitting in a friends house in Jefferson City, MO with my wife when I receive an email from my 16 year old son asking me to read a book report he is about to turn in at school. As I sat there and read the book report I was more and more amazed at what an awesome man he has become and how proud I am to be his dad. It brought me to tears. His mom then came in the room and I said you have got to read this. In a moment Michelle was reading away at the same report. Her face was all a glow as she just sat there and said, “WOW!” I am not going to just sit here and tell you about it I want to give you the chance to read what he wrote, so here is Tyler Bloyer’s report.
The world that we live in is constantly pressuring us to conform to its ways. The book that I read, Hero: Becoming the Man She Desires written by Fred Stoeker and co-author is Jasen Stoeker, is trying help the men of God fight the fight and staying strong to the commitment we made with our bodies. It is taking on the myths of this world head on and firing back using what the Creator says. It is a book for the defense of those who want to keep sex between their future wives and them, and no one else.
The author is just trying to tell me that, just because I am a follower of Christ, it does not mean that I cannot have the same romance and intimacy that my peers have through premarital sex. Stoeker is helping me by suggesting to me what it takes to be a man of God through my actions with the women around me, and with my future relationships. He writes to me that a man of God does not look at women in a degrading and disrespectful way, and that God created them special and of course different than us men. And these differences are not just physical, but also mentally. The way that women view relationships is very different than the way a man perceives them to be. Women are more likely to be dedicated to a relationship, than a man would be. Also, he lays out all the expectations that God has for his men about sex and abstinence (Oh no I said abstinence!), and how important it is for them to protect their hearts from the temptations of our sex driven culture. God created sex, so why would he think it’s horrible and bad? He doesn’t, God created sex for a reason. It is the bonding of one man to one woman. He made it be awesome and pleasurable. What he doesn’t like is when people abuse this wonderful gift, and use it for our own ignorant pleasures with whomever we feel like it. He created it for a man and a wife to have together, when they had made that commitment to each other and God. AKA when they say I do. But our culture tries so hard to make men like me, fall to its low standards of integrity. Men are constantly under attack through the movies and TV we watch, through the music we listen to, and the websites we view. Satan has used many things to break followers of Christ down. He uses porn, masturbation, and other things like premarital sex. And sure man, we are not perfect people AT ALL, and if anyone says they are, they’re liars. We make mistakes just like everyone else. The only perfect person ever on this planet was Jesus. He never sinned. But yet, he came here on this jacked up world, and he died in place for all the crappy things I’ve said or done. And for this, I know that even though I live in a world of constant temptations and pressures, I know that because I believe that God came here for me and died for my mistakes, that I don’t have to worry about where I’m going after I die. It’s a sure fact.
This book is a tool that God has placed in my life, and I now know what I have to do to be the man that He wants me to be, and the man that future bride deserves.
I continue to pray for the young lady that will some day be my sons wife. I pray that she truly sees what being a Hero for Real looks like.
Michelle and I love to listen to Diana Krall when the kids are in bed and we are able to relax and enjoy our time. This is has been one of those areas that we truly knew was important for us to keep for us to be able to be the husband and wife we needed to be. I also believe that it is because we were able to make sure that we had this time that we were able to be better parents. We had time for us to be unified in heart and mind when it came to life and the kids. This may not be your kind of music but I encourage you to find whatever music you and your spouse enjoy turn the music on and then just spend time with the two of you. No matter how many kids you have no matter what ages they are, you need your time together. Because if you don’t have your time together now when your kids are grown up and gone you will have tons of time together and you may not know who you are spending time with.
What kind of music do you and your spouse enjoy listening to while you relax? If you can’t answer that question then you need to find out.
Here is the special story of a special guy at Central Christian Church in Las Vegas. I pray that there are more and more Sherman’s in our churches.
This is just one way that we would like to share our thanks and special memories with our friends and family in Benicia. You all will have a special place in our hearts and in our family. Thank you so much. This video was created by Tyler Bloyer.
For us this is the first Christmas in almost twelve years that we have been home in Colorado with our families. I am so blessed to have had this opportunity to come home and be with the ones that I love for this holiday season. I want to wish you all a very Merry Christmas. May we always remember those that are not able to be home for Christmas. That we remember that there are men and women that are standing either in some far away land protecting our country or they are just down the block putting out a fire or enforcing the law. There are people that because of what they do are not able to be home for this holiday and it is our opportunity to first prayer for them and then to be real and get out there and love on them in some special way. Merry Christmas to all of those in the Armed Forces or to those that serve as a Fireman or Police Officer. Thank you for all that you do.
Yesterday was the last Sunday that we as the Bloyer family would be serving at Northgate Christian Fellowship. It was very bittersweet. We have been so blessed to have been a part of this church for the last two and a half years both as a staff member and as a church member. Through all this time we have been able to see God do amazing things. Students not just attending at a church but leading and serving in the church. Students that have taken steps of faith with Jesus with over thirty of them getting baptized. Parents recognizing the need to be the spiritual leaders in the lives of their kids. Fathers dedicating to restore the relationships that have with their kids and their wives.
It is amazing to me that I am amazed at what God does. But this is what God does the amazing! So I thank God and the people of Northgate for allowing us to be a part of something amazing. I know that even now God is preparing the church and it’s people to do something even more amazing then we have been a part of in the last two years. It has been my pleasure to serve with the staff of Northgate and watch their blood sweat and tears when it comes to not just talking about church but being the church.
I personally want to thank Pastor Ken Jensen for his support and leadership as we have walked through the last two years. I also have been blessed with his encouragement as we embark on this journey into starting a church. Much like he did nineteen years ago in his living room. I have appreciated his care and concern for our family and the church that God is bringing together in Colorado.
As we leave to start a new journey in Colorado we take with us the friends and family that God has placed in our hearts and lives from Northgate. Thank you Northgate we love you.
In my office I have several pictures on my wall of my family. There are the pictures of the kids doing different things like football and volleyball. There are the way out of date family pictures where they are all shorter then me. (Not so now.) But there in the center of all of those pictures is the one that you can see below. It is two pictures of my wife in a frame done by some very special friends in Miles City, MT at “Unique Creations”.
In between the pictures you can see some typed up lines. Those lines are some verse from the bible that I think are important for me to remember when it comes to being a husband. They are the following:
Proverbs 5:18-19 (Msg) Bless your fresh-flowing fountain! Enjoy the wife you married as a young man!  Lovely as an angel, beautiful as a rose— don’t ever quit taking delight in her body. Never take her love for granted!
I can imagine some of you asking the question, “Why are these verse important to being a husband?” That is a great question and I am glad that you asked it. It is important for me to remember as a husband because a husband needs to remember that his wife is a fountain of love in his life. That just like a fountain that we see in a mall that if not taken care of can become unpleasant. If the fountain is not always being refreshed it eventually can become stale.
That I am always to enjoy the wife of my youth. That whether we are twenty five or seventy five she is the standard of beauty in my life. That everyone and everything can not compare to her beauty. That as we grow old together she will always be the wife that I fought for, the wife that I wrote poems for, that wife that I chased after, and that should always be the way that I treat her. As the young husband that worked so very hard at making sure that she knew she was the only one for me.
That I am always to be sexually active with my wife. Now I am sure that some of you are thinking well that is not something you have to work at you are a male. Your right, but there are things of this world that are very busy trying to get me to not focus on my wife whom I love. The things out there are pornography, strip clubs, jobs, sports, and even friends. These are things that can if I let them, keep me from making sure that I am loving my wife emotionally and physically. I believe that for some reason men have bought into the idea that when it comes to sex that their needs are the ones that are the most important. Unfortunately if you are a husband and that is the way that you think then at least one person is enjoying the whole minute of pleasure. I am just saying. Maybe if we took the time to make sure our wives were pleased or wives would take the time to make sure we were. I am to take delight in her and only her.
Then finally I am to “Not take her love for granted.” As a husband I am to always be seeking to make sure that she knows that she is loved. Not that she feels that she is loved because feelings can change with the weather. But that through my words, my actions, and my life that she and those around her know that she is loved. That is why these verses are important to me as a husband. I heard this statement a long time ago, “Maybe if there was more courting in marriage there would be less marriages in court.” Guys it is time to be step up and be the husband that your wife needs and desires. So why not ask her today if she knows that she is loved. Maybe, if you have the guts ask her friends if they know she is loved because if she is not then they will surely know. Take the time to work more on your marriage and the relationship with your wife then you do your fantasy football league.
I have three children two daughters and a son. I had the privilege to grow up in a house that had four children three boys and one girl. She was the youngest and I was the oldest of the family we are ten years a part. I never was around for the teenage years of my sister when she was growing up so I never experienced walking through life with a teenage girl. Well now we have two in the house and I am learning everyday from them and theie mother about walking through life with a teenage daughter. While they were growing up I have always read books from men that have had daughters. I have read books about parenting and at times especially parenting daughters. Why? Because I was afraid. I did not want to be a total screw up when it came to being the father my daughters needed. So as a dad of daughters I want to share a couple of things I have learned. I want to start with this scripture so that you know what I am sharing comes from a biblical presence:
Col. 3:21 (NLT) Fathers, don’t aggravate your children. If you do, they will become discouraged and quit trying.
As I have studied this biblical passage I know that so many times we take it as what we are to do when it comes to disciplining our kids. Or you will even hear some people that say that it means not to tease your kids, I don’t get that one. But as I have walked through the last 16 years with daughters here are some things that I would encourage dad to do when it comes to not “aggravating your children”.
Dads don’t withhold your love and affection to your daughters mother. How can this aggravate your daughter? It is aggravating because she will not know what a healthy relationship will look like. She will then become aggravated by trying to figure out if and when she gets married if she is to be like her parents or like the people in relationships that she sees on t.v.
Dads don’t with hold your love and affection to your daughter. How can this aggravate your daughter? It then makes her want to get that love and affection some where else. I can then pretty much guarantee that is the love and affection you don’t want her to be getting from some hairy legged teenage boy that thinks being a man is what he does between the sheets with a girl. No matter what age your daughter is you need to kiss and hug her. No matter how she has developed she needs to snuggle with her dad on the couch while watching a movie. No matter how much you may get frustrated with her because you just don’t understand how she can change moods like you change channels, give her a hug before she goes to bed.
Dads don’t with hold your words about how beautiful she is. How can this aggravate your daughter? She will then look for her beauty identity from other places. She will compare herself to the magazines, which she will do anyway. She will compare herself to the girls at school who have made a choice to where clothes that have less fabric then a band aid, which she will do anyway. You may right now asking your self well if she is going to do all of this any way then what is the use? The reason you need to do it is because you love your daughter and a daddy speak into this part of his daughters life like no other.
I am sure that if you were to ask most women today they would have never complain that there dad loved their mom to much, that there dad loved them with appropriate God ordained love to much, and that there dad told them they were beautiful to much. I am here to say DADS don’t aggravate your daughters If you do, they will become discouraged and quit trying.
So last week I chose to put on my facebook page a question with a picture. What was amazing to me was first the amount of responses that I got about growing a beard. As well as the way the responses were divided male and female as well as the view points that came from the male and female friends that responded.
One of the things that I heard from the guys was “that would be manly, a full beard”, then from the ladies was “did you ask your wife about this.” There were even some very precise comments like “you know that growing a beard can complicate kissing” that was from a female perspective. The guys comments are “beards rock” or the “you can then catch more bugs” comment came from a fellow motorcycle rider. What I noticed was that not one guy commented about it in the context of the relationship with my wife. To me it was pretty funny to just watch the comments come in. I liked some of the creative ones as well one lady wrote “what if your wife doesn’t shave her legs” another one said “if you grow a beard then you will look upside down” (I shave my head). I just love how God has wired us to think different ways and to see things differently. Wouldn’t it be boring with out such great perspectives. So are you wondering if I have shave? Well here is the first picture as well as the new picture. We are going with the beard.
For all those ladies out there that made comments about what did my wife think. Well I asked her opinion first. You see I do want to know if that would change the kissing in our house. I also think that of any one’s opinion hers is going to carry the only weight. I just see this as a great way to continue to encourage guys to think about when it comes to our decisions do we think about what our spouses would think. I spend a lot of time counseling people that are married that think that there opinion is the most important in the relationship. Well if you think that way I would just say you would be better off getting a pet and not a spouse. Because your pets you can order around. Not a spouse. When Eve was created in the garden of Eden she was created from Adams rib. Not from the bottom of his foot, for her to be ruled upon. Not from the top of the head where she is to rule upon the man, but from the side the place where a partner stands. So I encourage all of us husbands and wives to begin in our thoughts about decisions first with what God would want and then second how does this affect my spouse. If we think this way I really believe a lot of issues that we deal with will slowly go away.